Dating in my generation has become a scary experience and something that is not taken with the seriousness it deserves. Ever since I was a child, I desired to fall in love with one person and grow with that same person till our teeth fell out. Growing up I began seeing how adults relate with each other and I encountered people who didn’t believe in love and in a lifelong partnership. What’s worse is my generation makes modern dating look like something you’d want to steer clear from.
Dating has become a twisted game of who cares less, who shows the least interest while maintaining a cool and fun persona. People want to put one foot in and one foot out because they’re scared of commitment and frankly speaking I’m one of those people. People are scared of pursuing their love interest because they’ve been conditioned to remain silent of how truly they feel. Moreover, my generation is scared of being blue-ticked by their love interest or being thrown in the mythical ‘friendzone’.
People value quantity over quality. It’s crazy how people brag about the multiple partners they have but very few take pride in the one person they’ve chosen to build a life with. Cheating, baby mamas and baby daddies have become a norm in today’s modern society and people just date for the sake of dating with no intentions.
Millennial dating is very confusing and it can seriously make your head hurt. People want to act chilled but deep down I’m sure they yearn a fulfilling relationship more than the fleeting romance.
We millennials are not very good at the commitment part. Even though commitments are connections to society, we often run away from it in fear of choosing incorrectly. But often we end up disconnected and lonely. The temptation to keep life in the “honeymoon phase” exists because we’re addicted to the dopamine rush.
What’s the point of having numerous contacts and you can’t unburden to anyone when life’s turbulences knock on your door? What’s the point of suppressing ourselves and our emotions?
Communication has become such an uncomfortable thing that we opt to text than holding face to face conversations. We derive joy in pettiness, sending passive-aggressive texts, swiftly blocking someone while they’re texting and saving them under a different name or sometimes a syllable until the negativity wears off. It’s easier to ghost someone than face them and talk.
Vulnerability is frowned upon as we’re conditioned to numb ourselves to the feelings that make us who we are because we’re afraid of being labeled overly sensitive and dramatic.
We build walls greater than the Great Wall in order to protect ourselves from deep human connection. We dwindle multiple situationships in fear of getting attached and spend more time creating bonds that are shallow.
We are a generation afraid to feel, afraid to love, afraid of getting our fragile hearts crushed. But what’s life without all these?
As someone who’s afraid of so many things than I’m willing to admit. I’m scared of putting my guard down and willingly hand an individual the power to completely destroy me and hoping they wouldn’t. But I long to be loved wholly, deeply and unconditionally by someone who sees past my flaws.
We are capable of loving someone but we’re filled with commitment phobia and so many options to choose from. We’re in this never ending Ferris wheel to find the perfect person. But in reality this person doesn’t exist.
I believe you can open yourself to someone without handing over all your power. Yes, you have to be vulnerable to achieve a loving relationship but vulnerable does not equal powerless. I found my love at 31 when I got on Tinder & just decided to have fun. He came along & I just knew there was something different about him. Doesn't mean I didnt experience the negatives that you mentioned about our online world… but it was all worth it in the end. I wish you the best. Sarah Elle xx
Congratulations Sarah. Thank you for the well wishes.